Stuck.

I know that word is extremely vague. I’m not inactive or unmotivated…I’m actually very far from it. My activity level in all aspects of my life is at its peak and I feel more inspired to create, to move, to be more than ever. I’ve met wonderful, interesting new people and sustained worthwhile old ones. If I’m being honest, its true that all of these positive events could not have happened without stemming from one, extremely impacting negative one but that’s just me recognizing the it-all-works-out of it all.

No, I’m not stuck in a mental sense (or physical…ha). I really am blessed in such areas. What I’m trying to express is how in-between everything is right now. I can say with great certainty that what happened was a positive experience in the grand scheme of things, but I yet I can’t say that I’ve moved past the negativity of it all. Basically, I know that going through all this emotional turmoil will make me a better/stronger person and I can look back and see it all as rewarding, but just being able to say that makes me uncomfortable. The fact that I recognize my current state and how it will affect me later just gives me this ill-fitted feeling of knowing too much. Someone grant me some negative capability?

Maybe it’s just me…but probably not.