09/09/09 - make a wish! too bad wishing doesn't make it come true, you gotta Make It Come True. You know what I wished for? An exhilirating senior year...the last year of our angsty lives where we truly get to discover ourselves to the core, and also discover ourselves in people we never knew held such qualities. Every year, we say that we have probably "found our true friends." What are true friends? Ones that'll stick by you whenever, wherever. Ones that will storm off and scream and shout and be pissed off, but when it comes down to it you're staring at each other and huffing and puffing and you're so fuckin' mad but you see the corner of their mouth raise and soon you're laughing like there ain't no tomorrow comin' around to threaten this friendship. I see this in many people, but I have also seen this authenticity disappear and fizzle away quite rapidly. This is it. The final countdown. Steady. Ready.

Hold me down til the very end. When's the end? For some it may be the end of highschool, others the end of life itself when the last slice of earth has fallen in. It's only strange because this end can be justified in so many ways. It could be until the end of the biggest fucking argument you'll ever have with your beau. Until the end of years of struggle. Until the end of the week. Anything can determine and alter this end...a great day out somehow prolongs this end for years, but the smallest disagreement could rewind this end decades back. How long until your end?

I took a lot of withheld anger out on people today, and I regret it. I miss the summer already, oh the carefree, bird-flies-by-your-feet-twittering-that-faithful-tune summer. I've done pretty well, I believe, when it comes to living for the moment, and I do plan on continuing this lifestyle. It makes me happy, as a clam (before it gets smothered in boiling heat on top of a hungry stove), as a little 2 year old boy who believes every person bigger than him is 3. I don't want to be in retrospective anymore, the past is the past is the past, and the future is in my very hands. I do hope for a future filled with promise.