may madness
6.5.09
5/5/09 RECAP: Happy Cinqo de Mayo! : Bio-bond, for the love of FONDUE! w/ carms & hannahbear : "Intense" math study session w/ wendy situ, oh & naomi, annie, silver, dixon, and navid of 90210.This month is FOCUS MONTH. After I celebrate this week of relaxation, it's time to put my game face on. Time to be...MAD ABOUT MACBETH! SOARING ABOVE SOCIOLOGY! MINGLING WITH MENTORSHIP! FLYING PAST FRENCH! EATING MATH FOR BREAKFAST!...
***In 13 months, I'm GONE. No more of this bullshit from you or Dad or Andy. No more raising my voice and defending you against my own brother because he is disrespecting you, only to have you analyze everything I was doing wrong while screaming at him - my bad temper, my frowning face, my uncontrollable anger to the point where I purposely THREW the ps2 onto the sofa and having it bounce off the couch onto the floor only to have you BITCH about how I RUINED YOUR PRECIOUS FLOOR while I was standing up for you because YOU DON'T HAVE THE ASSERTION TO DEFEND YOURSELF AGAINST YOUR 12 YEAR OLD SON. Because I'm the bigger problem, even though your own flesh and blood pulled a knife out on you not more than a year ago and I stepped in to protect you...only to have done something wrong again. Sorry for everything, then. I want you to know that I want to be NOTHING like you when I'm your age, a psychoanalytical excuse of a woman who constantly falls back on her past to hold her up. It'll be my mission to be exactly what you are not, I promise this.